I caught the train to work with my son this morning. As is often the case, he spoke of his anger towards his mother. For a bit of background, he left his mother’s house last year under less than ideal circumstances. To this day, she does not know where he lives and can only contact him through me (he is 19 so he does have that right to privacy). He wants nothing to do with his mother and speaks in absolutes. I’ve been trying to counsel him that no matter what, she will remain his mother so he should not shut that door permanently. It would be horrible for him if she were to pass away and he never made peace with her.

Today’s discussion got around to some of her habits. From what he says, she drinks excessively, is addicted to codeine and over medicates. These are his words. Her and I have little contact so I can’t verify them but that is not the important part of the story. He went on to say that, before he left home, she told him that her liver was failing and she expected him to donate part of his liver to her. His stance is that he will not give his liver to her because she doesn’t deserve it and would only waste it if he did give it to her. My first reaction was, “fair enough, that’s his call”. I can certainly understand his stance and his anger.

I got to thinking though, Christ said “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 NIV). What did he do to prove his love for us? He took our sins to the cross. He gave us mercy that we did not deserve. That is a tough act to follow, especially when we deal with people that we feel do not deserve our grace. It’s easy loving someone that is good to us, is kind or at least does us no harm. It’s truly Christ like to love someone and sacrifice for them when they don’t fit that profile. I wondered how I would react if it turned out I was a match for her, would I donate part of my liver to someone that would most likely not thank me for it and would probably not change her ways? I don’t know. Will my son come around and donate if and when the time comes? Again, I don’t know.

So how do I counsel my son? I can’t press him into donating. He still has a lot of anger towards his mother and the most I can do at the moment is to help him let that go. Maybe then he will be able to look at his mother in a more compassionate light. I’ve been trying to and praying for the strength to do that also for a while now and I’m still a work in progress. That statement, “Love each other as I have loved you.” Such a simple sentence, but what a sentence. His love was perfect! I know mine isn’t.

“As I have loved you.”

OK Lord, I’m trying.